Have you ever gotten that feeling when you look back at the year and just reflect on what has happened and everything seems to be muddled up; a complete blur as if someone pressed the fast forward button and you only get snippets of still shots and that's all you can remember.
Well 2017 was definitely as such.
I remember starting off 2017 crippled with fear and anxiety, truth be told I was in the deep end or what I felt it was like. From the pressure of exams, dissertation, assignments, job applications and interviews. To be standing where I was at that point in time, I wouldn't have made it without some sort of divine intervention.
Looking back, it wasn't the fact that these tasks were beyond my capabilities, what made it difficult was my fear of failure. The fear of the unknown. I guess everyone goes through that stage of uncertainty topped with self doubt. All you see are mountains and hills right in front of you. Each of us have our own giants to face, and it could be anything; school, relationships, family, career, the list goes on. University was one of my giants, despite the struggles, there we're tons of amazing times in between and I wouldn't have trade those years for anything else. Everyone I met along the way told me, enjoy your uni years because that'll be one of the best part of your life. I didn't realise how true those statements were until now.
If there're some lessons that I took away from my time in uni is this:
You don't always need to have an answer.
Contrary to what the world believes; you don't need to have an answer to everything especially when it comes to your future. Yes, it's admirable to have a plan, goals and what not, but plans fail, circumstances change, life won't always turn out the way you want it go. That I know for a fact. As a big fan of orderly structures and plans, it was hard for me to accept situations when things don't go accordingly. Which leads me to the next lesson.
Be open to change.
Change is inevitable. Change is not giving up but embracing what could be. I realise being fixated and stuck on what I thought was the right way or decision ended up causing unnecessary issues and missing out on bigger/ greater opportunities that I to this day will regret.
Everyone is lost.
You can be the most successful person on earth and I'm pretty sure you won't have everything figured out. Obviously. Hence, the constant search of improvements and advancing the way of life. It's okay to not know and figure things out along the way, I think the best part of the journey is the process or learning and adapting to different situations. The uncertainty should be the motivation to try. At least that's what I try to tell myself.
Be content but don't settle.
We're all chasing something, wealth, health, beauty, status, etc. It's how we're wired as humans, to have that constant desire of trying to satisfy our needs and wants. I think a lot of unhappiness stems from the fact that we can never find that one thing that fulfils us, comparing ourselves to what others have and are doing with their lives. The competitive nature of ourselves gets frustrated and we lose the bigger picture. One can choose to sit there and complain about how life is unfair or learn to be content and grateful for where you are and the situations you're put in. Easier said than done of course. But trying to do so will help you get a different perspective and with perspective comes a sense of purpose and direction.
[I'm no life expert and I could well be disillusioned but everyone's entitled to their own opinions, I think having this written down is much more of a reminder to myself because I know there'll be days where I just feel like it's me against the world and I'll be able to look through this post and tell myself, hey suck it up.]
As one chapter of the book ends, the next chapter starts. Graduating and leaving all the good memories and people I've come to know behind was bittersweet but the journey onward as always continues. I guess this is where the interesting bits of the book starts, the built up; adulthood.
More questions, more uncertainties and doubts. The cycle continues.
So here's to the ones who're still figuring things out, who're still clueless and hopeless. You're not alone, with 7.6 billion people in this world, if everyone knew what life was all about, we'd probably be living in a bloody mundane world.
And to those who have it ''ALL PLANNED OUT''. Good on you.
‘It’s Life. You Don’t Figure It Out. You Just Climb Up On The Beast And Ride’. – Rebecca Wells
