2019 | Better late than never

How do I put it into words?

2018 came and went. ''I pretty much zoned out in 2018, it was my first full year of work-life, ''adulting'', trying to get my shit together kind of year. 
Saw, experienced, learnt lots of cool stuff; Chased discs, moved to a new place, splurged on a One Republic concert, attended weddings, got tanned from work, went to Bali to get more sun as if the UV rays back home wasn't enough. 
Work and worked more. Went home for Christmas and BAM, the end. 
Welcome, 2019. 
I wish I could say the usual, ''New Year New Me BS'' and tell you a list of all the goals and resolutions I set for myself going into a new year, but I'm going to be realistic. None of that happened, I went into 2019 like any other years I have done previously, head straight, do what you have to do, enjoy the ride and don't lose your mind in the process. 

It seems like time has all but merged into a crazy amalgamation of flashbacks and uncertainties. 

Call me nostalgic, but with everything that's been going on in the world today, I think its safe to say we should all look back and reflect on the past and perhaps look forward to what is to come. However bleak it may seem for now.

Highlights of 2019 in pictures because words can be boring:

Leaving home is never easy.

That was work life. 

Went to Japan to see some Orange Pillars.

Paid entry to a highrise building just to see other highrise buildings. Oh, and there's the Tokyo Tower.

Went home for a short R&R. Tinggi-tinggi~

Stayed on an oil rig turned dive rig. 

Got inspired volunteering for TEDx Bangsar.
Rest In Peace Godfrey Gao

Got to know and hang out with a bunch of crazy individuals who brought laughter and joy all around. 

Snuck back home to celebrate the Queens 60th and retirement.

Oh, did I mention some of the crazies I had the privilege to work with?
Finito.

Strolled up the mountain. Had it with the darn weather. Took a selfie nonetheless. 

Moved to Singapore. What?

Had '0' personal space whilst headbanging to Swedish House Mafias comeback after 5 years of a break/hiatus at the Singapore F1 Grand Prix.

Saw lots of the insides of a plane than the inside of my room.

From food-scapades in Hong Kong

Getting sick from eating sashimi in Patong, cause I'm an idiot.


Chasing sunsets in Greece.

Taking random hikes in Santorini

To One Republic gigs in Bangkok

Visiting hipster cafes in Bali

Took a trip back down memory lane as 2019 was coming to a close.

Ended the year. Right here. Mi casa y Mi familia.

2017 THE END

What a year. 2017.

Have you ever gotten that feeling when you look back at the year and just reflect on what has happened and everything seems to be muddled up; a complete blur as if someone pressed the fast forward button and you only get snippets of still shots and that's all you can remember. 

Well 2017 was definitely as such.

I remember starting off 2017 crippled with fear and anxiety, truth be told I was in the deep end or what I felt it was like. From the pressure of exams, dissertation, assignments, job applications and interviews. To be standing where I was at that point in time, I wouldn't have made it without some sort of divine intervention.   

Looking back, it wasn't the fact that these tasks were beyond my capabilities, what made it difficult was my fear of failure. The fear of the unknown. I guess everyone goes through that stage of uncertainty topped with self doubt. All you see are mountains and hills right in front of you. Each of us have our own giants to face, and it could be anything; school, relationships, family, career, the list goes on. University was one of my giants, despite the struggles, there we're tons of amazing times in between and I wouldn't have trade those years for anything else. Everyone I met along the way told me, enjoy your uni years because that'll be one of the best part of your life. I didn't realise how true those statements were until now.  

If there're some lessons that I took away from my time in uni is this:

You don't always need to have an answer. 

Contrary to what the world believes; you don't need to have an answer to everything especially when it comes to your future. Yes, it's admirable to have a plan, goals and what not, but plans fail, circumstances change, life won't always turn out the way you want it go. That I know for a fact. As a big fan of orderly structures and plans, it was hard for me to accept situations when things don't go accordingly. Which leads me to the next lesson.

Be open to change.

Change is inevitable. Change is not giving up but embracing what could be. I realise being fixated and stuck on what I thought was the right way or decision ended up causing unnecessary issues and missing out on bigger/ greater opportunities that I to this day will regret. 

Everyone is lost.

You can be the most successful person on earth and I'm pretty sure you won't have everything figured out. Obviously. Hence, the constant search of improvements and advancing the way of life. It's okay to not know and figure things out along the way, I think the best part of the journey is the process or learning and adapting to different situations. The uncertainty should be the motivation to try. At least that's what I try to tell myself.

Be content but don't settle.

We're all chasing something, wealth, health, beauty, status, etc. It's how we're wired as humans, to have that constant desire of trying to satisfy our needs and wants. I think a lot of unhappiness stems from the fact that we can never find that one thing that fulfils us, comparing ourselves to what others have and are doing with their lives. The competitive nature of ourselves gets frustrated and we lose the bigger picture. One can choose to sit there and complain about how life is unfair or learn to be content and grateful for where you are and the situations you're put in. Easier said than done of course. But trying to do so will help you get a different perspective and with perspective comes a sense of purpose and direction. 

[I'm no life expert and I could well be disillusioned but everyone's entitled to their own opinions, I think having this written down is much more of a reminder to myself because I know there'll be days where I just feel like it's me against the world and I'll be able to look through this post and tell myself, hey suck it up.] 

As one chapter of the book ends, the next chapter starts. Graduating and leaving all the good memories and people I've come to know behind was bittersweet but the journey onward as always continues. I guess this is where the interesting bits of the book starts, the built up; adulthood.

More questions, more uncertainties and doubts. The cycle continues.

So here's to the ones who're still figuring things out, who're still clueless and hopeless. You're not alone, with 7.6 billion people in this world, if everyone knew what life was all about, we'd probably be living in a bloody mundane world.

And to those who have it ''ALL PLANNED OUT''.  Good on you.

‘It’s Life. You Don’t Figure It Out. You Just Climb Up On The Beast And Ride’. – Rebecca Wells

  

  

December 1st

This shall be one of my deep personal post: Therefore, it is warned that you may be bored.


Today started off with finding out that one of my favourite actors growing up passed away~Paul Walker

I remember the first movie I watched was 2 fast 2 furious. I still remember thinking how cool that movie was and how handsome he looked. Bearing in mind I was 10 when I first watched that movie. To the extent of printing his picture out and sticking them on my study desk back home which to this day still exists probably a bit faded out.
I was baffled by the news; it was just unreal; truly saddened. Reading up on his last moments it's scary how one minute that person you talked to could be gone the next. Makes you wonder when will it be your turn.

The day progressed and I went to church. 10 brothers and sisters in Christ got baptised. It was a joy to witness this day even being away from home. At least there's something to be happy about and remind you that life still carries on and there's always little things to celebrate on.

It was a beautiful Sunday, blue skies and sunshine ;after I got back to my room. I decided to go for a walk and stopped by at the charity book store. As I browsed through the shelves a book caught my eye 'Tuesdays with Morrie'. I've known about this book and seen it back home but never had the chance of getting it. So I got the book and it was only 2GBP. Decided to get some afternoon tea at the Cafe nearby where I sat down and got engrossed reading the book.

Few hours later, ie. Now. I just finished the book. One thing for sure that purchase was worth it.
Where should I start. The book was about death. Well to make it less depressing, lessons learnt from a dying man.

I'd love to write about what the book says and everything in it that is so relevant and hits you right in the face but I wont because you yourself have to experience reading the book and learn something valuable from it.
You might learn something that I might not have gotten. Each person will have a different perspective.

However, I shall leave you with a few quotes from the book by Morrie Schwartz.

 'We all have the same beginning-birth-

and we all have the same end-death. So how different can we be?

'Invest in the human family.Invest in people. Build a little community

of those you love and who love you.'    

'Everyone knows they're going to die', 'but nobody believes it.' If we did, 

we would do things differently.

'Death ends a life, not a relationship'

I guess the matter of fact is. Death is real. Like it or not. I've read so much about people close from home who passed, the things other people say and the impact they had on other people's lives. Those will be the the memories that will remain. Even when that person is not around.

Just like Paul Walker, before he passed he was at a charity event held by his own organisation Reach Out Worldwide which was raising funds for the Philippines victims. Although he may be gone but his service to others in need will be the memory of many. 

Lastly, at the end of the book. One paragraph caught my eye:

Have you ever really had a teacher? 

One who saw you as a raw but precious thing, 

a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine?

If you are lucky enough to find your way to such teachers,

you will always find your way back.

It's crazy how things happen in your daily life that jolts you back to your senses and how it reminds you of things that are relevant. 

I'm lucky and blessed to know of a teacher, a counsellor, a father figure of such who saw me as something so precious who devoted his love and time to shape me and till this day mould me so that one day I'll be a polished proud shine. To know that though I stray far and get lost in this worldly maze. I could always find my way back to Him. 

To those who have not found such a teacher. He is there if you have the desire to seek him. Always welcoming and always loving.

(To you who read this till the end; I hope I made sense. If I didn't I hope it'll make sense to you one day. But thank you anyway. XXXX )

In remembrance to those who left the earth and joined the angels in heaven